Our world has diluted the meaning of friendship, but the reality is, there’s nothing like the sustaining strength of true-blue, forever friends. Still, many people are convinced that they’ll never find such lifelong connections—or that they don’t need them.
In this encouraging book, best-selling author and psychologist John Townsend delivers hope and help for making these relationships a reality—and for making them even better if you’ve already got a “bestie.” His eight principles for building the very best kind of friendship, along with his shared experiences within his own friendships (including mistakes he’s made), will move every reader to aspire to deeper connections and to stay the course when challenges arise. Townsend’s simple but profound concepts are sure to transform readers’ relationships and keep them from missing out on one of life’s greatest and most essential joys: the joy of having a best friend.
Five Best Friendship Rules to Live By, adapted from "How to Be a Best Friend Forever" by Dr. John Townsend
Is there room for more than one BFF in your life?
While some people prefer to have a #1 friend, Dr. Townsend says we need more than one best friend because each person brings a certain set of qualities to a relationship. Variety is the spice of life and BF should be a plural term.
What about best friends of the opposite sex?
Dr. Townsend says, exercise caution. Sharing feminine and masculine viewpoints helps balance us, grow us, and make us better people, but close opposite-sex relationships can bring fear and insecurity into our romantic relationships. If that's the case, both people should spend time with the BF, so the other person feels safe, loved, and assured that everything is on the up and up.
What if your spouse or your sister is your BFF?
You might be limiting your own growth because you are operating in a closed system. And if your husband or wife is your best friend, you risk smothering them and your marriage. Dr. Townsend encourages connections outside the comfort zone of family.
Does Facebook make friendships better or worse?
Digital connection is essentially neutral in friendships, but it does have drawbacks. It acts as a magnifying glass, making good friendships seem better and negative issues larger than they are. It also lends to "Instantaneous Dependency," where a person over-relies on external views, too afraid to trust their own.
What if you don't have a BFF?
Look for 3 must-have elements, "the DNA of friendship": knowing, liking, and presence. Knowing allows you to evaluate how deep the relationship will go. Next, are you drawn to each other? Liking serves as an anesthetic to get over rough patches. And third is time spent together. The more time you share, the better the relationship.
Dr. John Townsend is a psychologist, speaker and leadership coach. He has authored or coauthored over 20 books, selling 5 million copies, including the 2 million-unit bestseller Boundaries and Leadership Beyond Reason. He cohosts the nationally syndicated daily radio program NewLifeLive! heard on over 160 markets nationwide, with a listening audience of 3 million. Dr. Townsend and his family live in Southern California.
Day-to-day life so often seems like a fast moving merry-go-round. We do the same things day after day ... working, shopping, running errands, house cleaning, laundry, and then more of the same. When there are so many demands on our time, energy and resources, it is hard to find time for meaningful relationships.
Being passive about friendships will not get us the great connections that being proactive will. Being vulnerable, transparent, honest, and available for each other is what it takes. It is essential to have this type of open relationship in order to begin and maintain long-term and satisfying friendships.
I found this book to be a great resource on how to make and keep lifetime relationships. The section on facebook and online friendships was very enlightening. I especially enjoyed the 40 page study guide at the back of the book. The questions made me take an honest and reflective look at the friendships in my own life. I highly recommend this book!
Disclosure: Book received through PR by the Book/Worthy Publishing, in exchange for my honest review.
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