A State of Viduity

Viduity is an unfamiliar word.

 It's also a new chapter in my life ... and I don't like it.

Here's a quote that I found on Wordnik.com

“However, he picks up a reticule, which the thief in his fright has dropped, discovers in it the address he wants, and actually ventures to call on Madame Caroline Derville, who possesses, in addition to viduity, all the other attractions catalogued above.”

(from A History of the French Novel, Vol. 2 To the Close of the 19th Century)

One day last week, an elderly woman who lives down the street referred to the two of us as the "widows on the block". I think I must have actually gasped out loud, and at first I was angry that she lumped us together like that.

The stark reality hit me. I am now a widow.

I live in a house that is too big for just me, all by myself. The quiet is deafening, and even the clocks seem to tick louder than before. I am not a TV watcher and have always loved to read with complete silence. However, the silence has now become a constant distraction, and I can't seem to concentrate on much of anything.

I need to learn what the "new normal" is. I need to learn how to shop for one, cook for one, and how to sleep alone. Everywhere I look I am reminded of what we had together as a couple, and nothing will ever be the same again.

I am so grateful for my children and grandchildren. Without them around to keep me going, this journey would seem next to impossible. I just wish that they lived closer, like maybe right here with me?

Today, I choose to add a touch of mystery to my life. If anyone asks, I'm going to say that I'm in a state of viduity. I bet most people won't have a clue what I'm talking about.

My hubby always loved a good mystery and he had a way of looking at the bright side of any situation.

I think he would've actually chuckled about my new word.